CNY

firstly, HAPPY CNY to y'all!

well, it was an ok time for me this year. went to church so much. haiyo. so holy sia. was so tempted to pon on sunday cos so tired after coming back from jia xiang. actually, everyone there was not so subtly telling me to pon. and trust me, if i wasn't leading the group, i wouldn't have shown up. don't know why that siao siao khoo decides to have 2 masses. y not just do the CNY one on sunday and be done with it???????????

anyway, went back to kulai again. uncle wee came down to fetch us. but this time, not everyone was around. new zealand and australia were absent. and no big family photo like last year cos we couldn't get everyone to sit still long enough for one. and because dad decided to bring his own camera, which is film based, i didn't use mine much. i do have some (pathetically few) photos tho.
andrew, jack, n sin sin playing sudoku. the family with popo. the setting is identical to last year's family photo. except the clothes. coming back, the customs officer did a casual search. i had to let him check my bag. probably cos it was the biggest bag there. probably thought i got hidden illegal vcds or something. haha! of course i don't have lah. i spent the whole day at jia xiang reading my EL textbook, then falling asleep till dinner. kinda waste of time i think.

janice came round lots. while it is fun to play with her, after a while, i got so bored, i did a photo shoot of my soft toy collection. not that she's boring to play with. she prefers the company of my dad. seriously. the minute dad carries her, she allows NO ONE else to touch her anymore. haha! she'll literally push everyone away. she and her godpa very good friends. mum is jealous.

future pianist in action! she's got this bad habit of smiling AFTER the picture is taken. ;p janice playing with my sesame street critters. for a girl, she's darn chor lor. haha! takes after me. btw, just fyi, janice is the first girl baby in the family since me. haha! the rest all boys. so i guess, in the absence of anyone else, they all say she looks like me. :D

like i said, i was bored enough to do a soft toy photoshoot. and this is my fav photo. heehee. even though the chicken run fella looks stunned. the kfc chicken looks good imo.

andrew's godfamily came over. i always feel so inadequate next to them cos the family consists of 3 girls. and they're all way skinnier and fashionable than me. i forgot that christina used to be in nus choir, so was a bit lagging when she asked how was preparations for the concert. haha! she said she's gonna be there. cecilia's the usual hot chick. and lynette. gosh. where to start. short skirt, sleeveless top. aiyo. do ALL CHIJ girls dress like that??! what do they teach them at ij?? anyway, they brought their dog. they've got a female maltese puppy named butter. haha! it's cute. like nino. i think she's practically nino's size, tho nino is older.
the thing decided to take a nap under the sofa. and hence, the pics of her under the sofa. the only time she stood still long enough. mum didn't go anywhere near the thing, as expected. anyway, later on, after we 'disturbed' her from her under the sofa nap, butter decided to throw a girly tantrum. and ended up getting slaps all round. heehee. go figure.

yup. more later.

homosexuality

seems to be a very hot topic these days. and not exactly in a good way. i wanted to talk about some instances of supposedly homosexuality that i've come across recently. just to share.

firstly, there was a movie screening in soci today. it was a french movie, "my life in pink". about a 7 year old boy (ludovic) who wishes he was a girl. the kid was so into his wanting-to-be-a-girl that he fell 'in love' with his neighbour's son and was proclaimed to the world that when he grew up, he'd be a girl and marry him. ludovic crossed dressed and wore makeup at times, to the point that he 'kidnapped' snow white from the school play and took her place instead, embarassing his whole family, resulting in his expulsion from school. the situation got so bad that ludovic got beaten up in the boy's shower room and the family had to move away from the neighbourhood. and then ludovic met a girl, christine who was his polar opposite. ie wanted to be a boy. it just ended with his family saying that no matter what ludovic does, or becomes, they will still love him, he is still their child. on one hand, it says that kids like these are just normal people really. that their sexual orientation is not really important about whether or not they are worth of love and acceptance. on the other hand, i found it unsatisfactory, cos they don't seem to be addressing the main problem that the kid is unsure of his sexual orientation. how's the kid going to fit in in future? nothing is resolved to me.

then, there was this programme on tv i saw, the topci for the week was this thing called genital-anomaly. (i think that's how it's spelled) it's a medical condition in which the person is neither male nor female. ie, the person was born with the genitals of one sex but with the genetic makeup of the other sex. now, will society brand them as homosexuals? this is an interesting case because, which gender does that person really belong to? the doctors/psychologists interviewed on the programme said that generally, they will let the person continue with the sex assigned to them at birth, cos that's what the person is used to. so, is this person considered homosexual? to the world, the person probably looks/acts not quite belonging to the sex they are assigned.

recently, there is a very controversial topic happening on the clayboard (like i mentioned). it's a claim that clay is gay, and had had sex with a man he met on the internet, with the intention of going into a homosexual relationship with that man. and now, that man wants clay to come out and admit to the world that he is gay, because he thinks that supposedly clay would make a good 'role model' for the gay community. (ya right. look at elton john) anyway, i think that something like this, as juicy a gossip as it is, doesn't have to be flaunted to the world. what's the point in proclaiming that a person is homosexual? why is it such a big deal when people, especially celebs announce that they are gay?

i guess, in this part of the world, sexuality and sexual orientation is still quite a prickly topic. i don't think asian society has yet come to the open-minded level of the western society regarding this. so, because of this, i think that all these discussions of homosexuality, well, they're personal stuff and by rights, should not be flaunted so openly. not that it's anything to be ashamed of, being a homosexual. but then again, i don't think it's anything to be proud of either. whatever a person is or decides to be; male, female, other, is his/her own decision. i think that society should not encourage homosexuality. i found a word that probably describes society's attitude towards homosexuals; homophobia, meaning an irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.

but i also think that society should not condemn those who are homosexuals. i think of those with genital-anomaly. is it their fault that they may be homosexual? i had a friend who once said that if she ever became the dictator of singapore, she would kill all the homosexuals. and i feel very disturbed that people actually have that kind of mindset. it's just as crazy and ungrounded as hitler wanting to kill all the jews. ok, homosexuality may be a lifestyle choice for some people. again, like i said, it's not necessary to flaunt it to the world. i guess, it's more important to be comfortable with who you are, rather than what you are.

ok. all for now. just some food for thought for you all.

happy CNY.

stuff and stuff

stuff. i spent $8 photocopying the EN readings from yu yan. why can't dr wee just do a course pack for us??? the photocopy room at AS6 has closed for some reason. so the uncle at AS7 is so busy now. poor fella. when i was there, the machines were all taking turns to break down.

i have not done any of my readings at all as yet. have to catch up really soon. the EL lecturer (still can't remember his name) came to tutorial today wearing a relatively huge bowtie. you know, like those cartoon characters? he really reminds me of a mix of a cartoon character and charles (the bass SL). :D

and i'm catching a cold again. sigh.

something BIG is happening on the clayboard. i don't know what though. no one is bothering to tell me at the moment. (not that i haven't asked) but it seems so bad that there's so many "clay, we will always support you" threads appearing. from what i gather, the tabloids have published something very very erm...bad is an understatement. apparently it was so bad that there was someone wondering if clay would go on doing what he's always done, given that such bad press has come out.

other stuff. saw THIS website at the choir forum. go take a look! especially the clip "library musical". HIGHLY RECOMMENDED SITE!

CNY is coming

haha! CNY is coming. so fast. had reunion dinner with mum's side of the family today. had steamboat. no lou hei but lots of digging round for 'treasure' inside the pot! the boys relocating to andrew's room to play.

and talking about CNY. lots of people are cutting their hair for new year. i wanna cut mine too. problem is that i'm too cheap to go to a pro hairstylist (which i'll probably be forced to do if i don't want to end up with ah ma behind the scissors). and i don't know what style i like. haha! so doing some research.

sigh. i like the first style. but the problem is...all these hair models are skinny people with skinny faces. and me has a fat face. so, it may look weird. and me's hair is damn thick. unlike these models' which are obviously no where near like mine. so anyway, i would like a short style, center parting, something very low maintainance, and won't get puffy like my previous short hair. haha! wishful thinking. most prob i'll be stuck with hair like mine for forever and a day. ;p

oh and btw, i just gotta mention this. i was looking at the clay fan fiction that people right. and oh. my. god. the things these people imagine. and actually write about. gosh. i was reading one story and i had to stop cos it was getting way to (shall we say) romantic for a despo like me. seriously, reading romance stories are more damaging than watching romance movies. here's to all the single girls who'll be alone on V day.

i feel lagging for some reason

Says Michael Zorawski, PhD: "I hope today's lecture on biological psychology was not too off-putting, given all the info about neurons, axons, sodium-potassium pumps etc." hey sir, not only was it darn off-putting, it was downright mind boggling. i think that 99.9% of people had no freaking idea what y0u were saying. i think the 0.1% comprised largely of that ang moh sitting in the front row, nodding at every other sentence you said. didn't you wonder WHY there was so much talking going on during the lecture? sigh. psych is the most boring lecture i have now. and i just realised that Michael is a visiting fellow, ie (i think) not a resident NUS professor, but here for a while only. no wonder. he's so weird.

i love the soci lecturer wang hong yu. despite her absolutely cheena accent. she's precise, concise in delivering her lecture, her course pack is cheap, and yesterday, she ended her lecture 45 minutes early. haha! seriously. she was doing the historical perspective of childhood. a purely history lecture. and it wasn't boring.

and i'm back from choir. well, i think it went badly. for 1, very very few people showed up. so thanks to those who came: andrea, augustine, benedict, aloy, fonz, randall, andrew, and especially colleen and steffi who were there at 7.30. i'll probably have to hold a prac again tmr after mass cos i have to teach the new song to the choir. sigh.

took janice out today. fun. first time took her anywhere outside the house. went to the pet shop. *g* there was a golden retriever puppy there on sale. if i had a big house, and time, and a mother that's not scared of dogs, i'll buy it. my dream dog sia. AND, because of CNY, there was a 10% off all small animals and puppies. haiz. but i can't take care of a dog so... mum suggested asking da-ge. cos apparently he's got 2 (stray) dogs that he wants to give away. which is no point cos she's scared of dogs in the 1st place so there can never be a permanent dog at my place.

still on animals. i discovered that birds are capable of stoning like humans. yesterday i was on my way to sch, at the bus stop opp TKGS. there's a bird store there. there was this bird that was isolated from the rest of them. at first, i thought the thingy had birdflu or something cos it was puffed up, beak was open, and it was doing nothing but staring into middle distance. then, just before my bus came, it moved and started preening itself. stupid bird.

alrighty. all for now.

advertising!!!!!

or you can contact me to get the tickets for you. :D hope to see you guys there!


p.s. sorry the pic is a bit small. the larger poster is too large for my space.

before anything, Little Chorales message board:
http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=75463

well, finally got my lecture that ends the introductory lectures. EN was fun! EN was fun! EN was fun fun fun! haha! got company from joseph. yu yan was there too but she was with her friend. never knew the things that goes on in the movie making industry. and learning the mise-en-scene. haha! screening of "the player" which was ok, but with a darn unsatisfactory ending. now if only i can remember the thingy for tutorial next week. fingers crossed that yu yan will be in the same tutorial as me.

tutorial registration results are out after the fuck up last sunday. i got all my modules except EN cos i was so blur that i accidently put the EN and EL slots the same time. and cors didn't bother to tell me until now. YES! I BLAME THEM!!!! anyway, yay!! 4 day week!!!!! (i'm very happy right now, and you'll see y in a while. it's a really dumb reason.)

choir was boring yesterday. ok, we did 2 songs. or 3, can't remember. but those songs sucked. well, the alto parts anyway. sounded lama. and the lullaby song was so eerie. but it sounded nice when combined. duh. anyway, according to wei wei, 13 down, 5 more to go. haha!

i wanna change blog skin soon. looking round for a nice one. for aspiring artists out there who are so nice as to want to help me, i'm looking for a skin that embodies this image and the quote "When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen:There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly."

mum's thinking of going back to work. kinda mixed reactions about that. on one hand, ya, great, i'll be much more independent. on the other hand, if she works, i can't work. (she forbids) so...me wants to go SEP so want to get money. we'll see. she's practicing computer a lot, to various degrees of success. i think, maybe she should go for computer course, a MicrosoftOffice 101. cos now, me and andrew are the teachers. and more often than not, i'm in the i-don't-understand-why-you-don't-understand mode.

and, finally, i'm feeling happy now, cos...drumroll!!! haha! actually it's a stupid reason. i saw on the clayboard that clay had blogged. and i also saw that someone else who doesn't have the fan club membership asked someone to pm him the entry. so me did the same too. haha! (go on, LAUGH!! i don't care.) and someone really pm-ed me the entry. there wasn't much in the entry, for some reason, it was written at 3am. but there was a bible quote there for ppl to ponder. "Do not fear the reproach of others, and do not be dismayed whenthey revile you." Isaiah 51:7 anyway, again, kind souls who want to get me a nice present for my birthday or something, get me a clay fan club membership.

i feel hyper right now.

and before i forget, something a bit more serious. today's uncle ted's 3rd yr death anniversary. *sad* miss him. it still feels a bit like he's gone back to england or something. can't believe it's been 3 years. so fast. "Remember [Edward French Harwood] whom we have loved."

this is SO beautiful!

click HERE

and turn on your speakers.

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.
Patrick Overton

To LC: rehash of what i said just now.

because i'm not gifted in the area of public speaking, nor in remembering what i said, i'll just repeat everything i should have said just now. hopefully not too boring again. (and sorry if i sound distracted. i am. stupid school system fucked up again.)

anyway, because i've never ever led any group larger than 4 before, screw ups and weird stuff are bound to occur. so, just try and cooperate with me and we'll try and work things out. things to do this year: vocal training (the technicalities of singing) - hopefully this works out ok. preview: we'll be doing stuff like breathing technique, diaphgram, tones, RANGE, singing together. also, i will try and teach u all how to read music. oh ya, practices will be on saturday evenings at 7.30pm. on saturdays when i can't come down cos of sch, most probably will move practice to sunday mornings after mass. (2 dates already, 21/01 and 04/03, i won't be around) during practices, i'll give 1hr to technical stuff, the rest of the time to mass stuff. how long the practices last depends on how long it takes to finish learning. theoratically, 2 hrs.

somewhere along the line i'll be appointing section leaders (when we're ok enough to do elaborate parts). i'm planning to buy a pitch pipe so that u can go ahead and do sectionals without having to rely too much on that dirty, kinda out of tune piano downstairs.

ok. other stuff. discipline totally totally sucks these days. punctuality. PLEASE try to be punctual. i'll try my best to start on time, but for saturday evenings, i'll give 10-15 mins grace (cos i know some ppl have to travel). if you have to be late, ie after 7.45pm, let me know BEFORE the time. if not than i consider you late without reason. punishment: suggestions about monetary fines, maybe i'll make you sing something solo, or physical exercises or combination of everything. i haven't made up my mind yet. haha.

talking during practices is the biggest time waster of all time. i know practices can be boring. but please try not to talk. if you have to talk, do it quietly. if i can hear your conversation, you're being way too loud. be discreet. this goes for laughing, joking, eating and whatever else you're doing during practices. and while talking, please still look out if it's your turn to sing. if i waste too much time in trying to get you quiet and ready, i'll extend the practices indefinitely, even if we've covered what we have to cover for the day. i'll assume that cos you waste so much time, you love spending time at choir so i'll fulfil your wish.

i'll be posting stuff (scores, resources, announcements) online cos i'm too cheap to spend money on photocopy and sms. so i'll expect you to check online regularly. for now, i'm using the yahoo groups. currently i'm struggling with another message board somewhere HERE. go ahead and check it out, see if it works. i've never used this brand of board before so i'm not too sure whether the features are good enough. so, ya, just register there and check it out. i'll keep you updated on this one.

thanks a bunch for listening to me ramble on and on! see y'all!

deleted my very very very horrendously narcissistic post.
haha!

(no that's not a link.)

time to do the damn balloting, and practice the darn organ, then much needed sleep.

*do you hear the music of the night?*

couldn't resist

wanna blog about my day. haha!

first psych lecture. that was b-o-r-i-n-g. seriously. those 2 lecturers think they're being funny but i think it's so lame that it's just...haiz. better not say. anyway, the female lecturer is singaporean with a fake british accent. the male lecturer has hair that's waaaaaaay longer than mine and 10 times thicker and stubble! picture bo bice with frizzy hair. according to his name (zowalski or something like that) he's eastern european. and he loves interrupting himself to give us surveys which practically none of us participate in. anyway, ya, that was psych.

and then ran (literally) to LT14 to crash intro to world religions lecture. woah. the place was darn full. not only full house, overflowing! people were sitting in the aisles. which makes me think that there were other people crashing too. and not for any bad reason either. the lecturer was really REALLY good. he mentioned tom cruise and scientology. anyway, more on religious as time goes on. oh ya, and i finally saw who's john whalen-bridge. haha! btw, i wanted to bid for this module but the exam date was kinda precarious cos it's on the same day as psych. one is pm the other is evening. so, bit dangerous.

and then, ran (again) for sociology childhood and youth. this one wasn't bad. but! enter the china lecturer!! she wasn't too bad. despite her habit of interrupting herself to tell long stories. she likes/d tom cruise btw. haha! and her almost impossible accent. it's much better than fjh tho (thank god). yup. enjoyed myself in soci today, even tho i was alone, and had to copy every darn word from her slide, and then coming home i realise that it's all on ivle. haiz. remind me to always check the ivle before lectures.

and choir wasn't that bad on thurs. some fella from cfa was filming us for some reason. haah! "missa brevis" sounds so good! especially the killer "sanctus" and "agnus dei". actually, i think the whole thing rocks! the other song, "blessing, glory and wisdom" wasn't that bad but i hate the long draggy alleluias and amens. and i still have no idea how i'm gonna memorise all that mess. anyway, i was supposed to be part of VVSOTF (varsity voices special operations task force) but i turned down. i don't think i could cope with the stupid thing, on top of the current school stuff and church stuff.

yup. that's all for now. yay! "desperate housewives" is coming back. boo! it's on monday. yay! "american idol" is coming back! haha! it's on wednesdays!! who cares bout the result show on thurs.

it is midnight. prayer for the day

"May today there be peace within.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love."

St. Theresa's Prayer

We light this candle because we believe in the past and we believe in the present.
We know there is energy that goes on, because its origin is in God.
Here we have hope for tomorrow, knowing that we have a destiny.

dante and blog music

2 topics i wanna talk about toady. firstly, i'm reading "the inferno" by dante. and well, for a book that's completely consisting of poetry, it's not bad really. now i know what they mean when they talk about dante's hell. it's really hell. dante describes hell in a way that's kinda chilling. i don't think i've ever read any description of hell anywhere that's like this. dante's hell kinda reminds me of the chinese version of hell, with the 7(?) stages. remember haw par villa? ya, there's demons, and devils torturing the souls. it's a place of utter despondency. it's like, darkness and fire. scary. i guess, doing it this way, in poetry form actually is better than doing it in prose. the original's written in italian, this one i'm reading is a translation. and the translator does it very well i think. it's difficult enough to translate prose, let alone dante's italian. yup. and it's not boring like chaucer. haha! highly recommended book.

next thing, i saw this article in the straits times "Music on your blog? You may need to license it". well, i think it's a bit ridiculous. they say that cos we're using the music on the blog, it's similar to distributing it or something like that and we should pay royalties to continue using it. people like me, who have non-downloadable music with no advertising on it, would have to pay at least $1000 per year for the license to keep playing music. and they call it a reasonable fee. i think it's a bit ridiculous. i mean, there isn't much difference between me using this music on my blog and say, people playing their cds at a party is there? i'm using the music to liven up my blog a little, for the enjoyment of me and my readers. i'm not profitting from it. and as far as i know, no one else is either, unless someone out there is secretly using their tape recorder or something to record the song.

which brings me to my next complaint. sometimes, well all the time, the govt is nagging and nagging about illegal music so much, but they're not exactly making it easier for people. i mean, people like me want to pay for their music but can't. why? not because it's too expensive or anything, but because i don't own a credit card. and because i don't own a credit card, even if they reduce the prices to dirt cheap prices, i still can't pay for it. i want to pay for it, believe me. you think i like having to be an illegal bootlegger? stupid.

anyway, i better stop before they come and arrest me for whatever reason. sigh.

you became the light on the dark side of me

and the weather is getting me down. feel so cold. i'm catching a cold again. my eye's swelling on and off for no particular reason. i feel no purpose in life whatsoever. "As if I have a part to play in a story that is not known to me."

monday, first day back at sch. EL was ok. the lecturer dr peter tan, was ok. reminds me of a little boy. he talks Old English very well. then 2 hr slacking in the library red room. then singapore studies was so boring. lecturer dr daniel goh. haiz. i just switched off. everything he was saying was already uploaded on the ivle. and it speaks for itself. and i have no idea what he was trying to teach. cf cultural studies classes. then rushed off for choir. catched up with jun. not many people at choir. lots of songs to learn by march. sigh. we're not gonna be carrying files so have to memorise close to 20 songs, majority of which we haven't even learnt yet. sigh. it's gonna be a LONG semester.

tuesday, went to watch "wallace and gromit: the curse of the were-rabbit" (spoilers ahead). well, it was ok. i really enjoyed the madagascar penguins' mini movie before the film. haha! kaboom, kaboom!! the actual movie itself was ok. not that great but not too bad, considering the technology that was used to make it. actually, some of the jokes were so lame. those types of things you'd see on 'tom and jerry' or candid camera. two stupid scenes that i remember, gromit and the bulldog were fighting on the 'plane' and it ran out of coins. they both stopped fighting to look for coins to put into the slot, then continued their fight. *rolls eyes* and the scene where the were-rabbit grabs lady tottingham. so king kong-esque. aiyo. verdict: it's watchable but can wait till it comes out on tv.

today, morning went to meet khoo. pure waste of time i tell you. there was nothing that he told me that i didn't already know. ok, maybe the only thing he told me was the time of the next meeting. and half the time he was talking things that had absolutely nothing to do with choir. nick was figetting so much. and a mosquito flew in. erm...he wants to do latin mass parts. oh ya, and he wants to do recruitment until the 10am choir consists not purely of youths. apparently he's kinda pissed that 10am choir is more well known as youth choir rather than 10am mass choir. *rolls eyes* he was saying that i shouldn't try to push teenage voices too much cos they're still changing and if it cracks then everything will be spoilt etc etc. ridiculous i think. ya anyway, attended my 1hr lecture with khoo. oh ya, and he pulled out his crazy softball team analogy AGAIN.

the only thing that i think i would like to follow is his 'hint' that peter low's choir at cathedral used to hold practices all the way till 2, 2.30pm after mass. i'm thinking that maybe 2hrs is a little too little. i'm thinking about 3hrs with a break in between. but for now, we'll stick to that and see how much we can accomplish in 2hrs.

for my amusement, i found out that keanu reeves played jonathan harker in the 1992 film "Dracula".

changed my blog music. let me know if it works k.

whine whine.

sigh. back to school tomorrow. back to choir till late. back to a stupid lousy busy monday.

sigh. just now's mass wasn't exactly a disaster of the first magnitude. neither was the practice after (which was close). will i ever get the hang of leading people? are some people just born fated never to lead, always to follow? i don't care anymore.

have to cut down my blogging time and computer time and tv time. school is starting liao. i wanna get all Bs. no B-, no Cs. Bs and above. for everything. sem 2 liao. this underserving undergrad shall become a deserving undergrad. *rolls eyes* i wanna go SEP to UNC Chapel hill.

those videos i uploaded into google are so blur. maybe the conversion did it. but google doesn't seem to accept .mov file. sigh. those nice videos spoilt for nothing.

and it's raining like there's no tomorrow.

i feel like doing a criss angel and yell: "MINDFREAK!!!!!" but for now, "i sound my barbaric YAWP! over the rooftops of the world."

if i put a gigantic padlock on time so that nothing will ever have to change, i'd put the lock on my JC1 days. the days of 4/6 aren't a bad time either.

the depression sets in again.

anorexia and skinniness

i just saw THIS article on the clayboard. it's something in response to a magazine article about being rail thin in hollywood. (my 2cents worth. excuse me if i'm rambling.)

i fully agree with this response. hollywood and the media is portraying an image that's not healthy for people these days. why is there this thinking that the thinner you are, the better you are? some people don't even look good skinny for goodness sakes. remember nicole richie? she who went round with paris hilton? gosh. she's so skinny now, it's unbelievable. she used to look ok back then. but now? yuck. why do people think that skinny emancipated people look good? in that case, then all the starving people in africa can become supermodels.

i knew someone who had on-off anorexia. whenever she gained the least bit of weight, she'd starve herself to get it off. and it was bad for her. she fell sick so easily, she'd be unwell in class, the rest of the class would have to take care of her. all because of a entirely unfounded thought that she's fat. i'm not exactly blaming her. i'm blaming what influenced her to be as skinny as she possibly can. the images that being thin is being beautiful.

sure, a certain amount of slimness is good. it gives people the impression that the person is healthy and has a good lifestyle. most of the thin people i see, that i think look good are those athletes. look at the supermodels, say, claudia schiffer, heidi klum (the only few models i know), they are slim, not thin. and they look good ya? imagine if they're stick thin, they won't look the same. it won't be beauty anymore. i just have to say this, those slimming adverts with fann wong etc, well, those celebs are already slim to begin with. any slimmer and they'd blow away in the wind. is that a good thing?

of course, that doesn't give people the right to say that fat is good either. being overweight is also a problem but becoming anorexic isn't the way to solve it. weight is a problem for me most of the time. and trust me, getting anorexia is a highly tempting way to lose weight, but it's not worth it. i mean, is it worth starving yourself, and feeling perpetually hungry, just to lose a few kilos? it's not healthy anyway. you'd fall sick in the meantime.

imagine if a fat person suddenly loses a whole lot of weight through anorexia, or bulimia or lyposuction. won't it look weird, the skin will still have the shape of fatness. yuck. imagine the extra skin hanging around. won't it better to exercise the fat off, then you'll look more toned in the process.

anyway, the root of the problem is probably the perception that fat is bad, thin is good. that in order to be rich, famous and beautiful, you have to fulfil a certain stereotype which is basically to be underweight. and the media is using this stereotype to perpetuate the myth further. how many really famous celebrities are fat? even those who were fat went to lose weight. remember olinda? all those beautiful people on tv are skinny.

i agree with the article that "the entertainment industry is irresponsible". the dangerous effects of anorexia have been medically proven time and again. and yet, the media still continues to deceive people that it's ok to be skinny and be anorexic to achieve that goal. the irresponsibility is that the industry doesn't seem to realise that it is a role model for their audience. the entertainment industry is a powerful tool in spreading mesages, good or bad. and majority of their audience are likely to be youths who are at their most impressionable stages. with a role model like that, can we help but wonder what youths these days are learning?

but this is not to be a holly-weird bashing session. what the article was trying to say is that beauty is not just what's on the outside. it's the inside that counts. remember the movie "shallow hal"? how the very overweight girl turned out to be the perfect girl inside? and all those stereotypically pretty girls turned out to be horrible hags? i know it's cheesy, but maybe the media should expound stuff like this instead of just superficial, on the surface beauty. external beauty will fade. people can't be skinny forever. but what's on the inside is what counts.

stupid module bidding.

haha! i've gotten my 5. PL1101E Introduction to Psychology, SSA1201 Singapore Society, EN2113 Reading Film and Cultural Texts, EL2111 Historical Variation in English, SC2213 Childhood and Youth. the best part, based on just lectures, i got a 3 day week. should be fun. gonna try for a 4 day week. got hope for that now. yay!

to make me happy, clossip again. haha! like my msn said, the claymates are truly nuts. guess what crazy topic they're discussing now. clay's belly button. what. da. hell. as if there isn't any better part of his anatomy to talk about. and it goes on to speculate about how clay may be related to big bird from sesame street. haha! at least the banana is out of the picture. ;D and they're speculating about what he's gonna do, and what they're gonna do during the Great Nap aka clay's vacation. *rolls eyes* life goes on.

this one picture has sparked off speculation again. 2 skinny people on the bench. she's brianne, who plays angela ledford in JNT. god knows what they're doing with the hands. apparently it's the C.A. sign. anyway, let's see, it used to be angela, then patricia, now brianne. all within the space of a few months. not to mention the spoof article wolfpack dreamed up about clay wanting to propose to gisele buchensen but didn't cos she didn't like raleigh. the guy can't seem to make up his mind. or he just loves teasing the boards. i think he gets a kick out of making 30pg threads appear. oh well, like they say, we'll probably not hear of anything until he suddenly appears with a mrs clay aiken in tow.

another crazy person, criss angel. just crazy. i used to speculate whether David blaine or david copperfield will be the first to die doing stupid stunts. but now, i've made up my mind. criss angel will die before any one of them and it'll be by doing his stupid stunts. i don't know what he's trying to prove. other than the fact that he's totally out of his mind.

anyone know...

how to convert video files into wmv format and wma format music files into mp3 format?

thanks!

fickle minded me again

haha! and again i'm showing how fickle minded i am. in case people are confused about the 'indian' song mentioned in the tag board, well, i had the song "in the name of the father" featured on my blog originally.

but today, i came across this montage by mrs loki that's just too sweet not to share with everyone. music is "homeward bound" by pianist william joseph. and i just have to say that the sweetest moment (to me) is at 2:55-3:15 when gregory comes running out.

*g*

mushy way to start the new year.

*hugs to all*

first day of the new year...

and already i feel so jumbled up.

my first ever mass on my own. well, it could have been worse. kudos to andrea for such a lovely psalm. :D the mic died. so the poor lector was just standing there. she's the new one, if i remember correct. sigh. aunty agnes should have told her to go to the lector stand on the altar straight away. and why da heck would they lock the back of the altar during mass? wanted to check if the thingy was on and the door was locked. woah. but, like i said, for the first mass of the year and my virgin full mass, it wasn't too bad.

i really really really need to get a catholic calender because, to my horror, i discovered that this coming sunday isn't the 2nd sunday after christmas. it's the ephiphany. damn. and i painstakingly figured out a really really nice accompaniment for 2nd sunday after christmas and prepared to defy fr khoo to play it. sigh. so sorry jess, if you're reading this. i'll just have to do the nwc for her asap. lucky we didn't stay back for hours learning it. so ma fan that so many things are falling on a sunday this year.

tired from the chronic lack of sleep for the past few days. haha! lucky sch isn't starting so soon. 9 jan. i dread the day. i got my psych module! haha! have to wait till 3rd before i can bid for the other modules. which hopefully all goes according to plan so that it won't disturb the very beautiful timetable i've done.

anyway, i'm kinda sad cos it seems like my 2 best friends are breaking their friendship. it's sad cos these 2 have been with me for so long, gone through so much together and now. sigh. all relationships need to be worked on. arguments and quarrels are common things but it doesn't mean that at the slightest bit of rough patch, break friendship. i don't know. i think i'm disappointed that they are acting like this. doesn't the past 2 years of friendship count for anything? i'm hoping that they'll reconcile but no matter what happens between them, i hope that it won't mean goodbye forever. uni is such a peculiar 'finishing school' that's changing all of us so much. sometimes change is good but we don't see it yet. if they are destined to break, then i hope that it'll be better for them and for those around them.

and whoever's interested, i emailed the guy. he didn't reply. so forget it. forget it! it's over! he's obviously not interested anymore. gosh. such strong words from me. it'll be a test of my resolve if and when i next see him.

ok, my first clossip for the year. a little birdie on the msg board has it that clay said "i fell in love with her" about angela. Oooooo..... i'm now trying to d/l the clips to see if it's true. haha! maybe she's the One. the clearwater JNT seems to be fun. they were playing pranks on william joseph during his pre-concert show. for eg, during 'kashmir', apparently clay was playing 'invisible' inside his ear piece, trying to distract him. and william retorted by saying, "what [clay]'s not realising is, his show's after mine. 'o holy night' is gonna be a few keys higher tonight." clay's encore piece was 'what are you doing new year's eve'. he did it the walking in way, like he did with 'kyrie'. and it was so sweet! the instrumental part in the middle, he stopped to dance with an old lady in the aisle, then kissed her hand at the end. :D

right. new year means resolutions. i resolve to:

-lose weight, grow 3cm and have a healthier lifestyle
-concentrate more on my studies and things that matter
-be more confident about myself
-not swear so much
-not be so blur
-learn to conduct with 2 hands
-not let my messing with my mind about religion actually affect my religion
-quit being so paranoid about the end of the world

for the church choir that i'm taking over (die!), well, my goals are kinda similar to what dawn was telling me about. anyway, in case anyone's interested. my goals for the choir are:

-for everyone to know basic note reading skills
-find another organist/conductor
-get another cantor, preferably a guy
-learn a new song every month or so (when i get the hang of myself then i'll start calling practices)
-ULTIMATE AIM!! sing SATB by christmas time.

wanna share this thing that i saw on the blog "mind kibble"

Go For It!!

I hate New Year’s Resolutions. They’re all poppycock. Sure make changes in your life, but why wait for a New Year to do it?

So instead of resolutions I’m going to share some of my “getting better as I get older” ways of going for it and risks worth taking in life that I’ve taken hold of!!

1) Be the first to say “I love you”, only if it comes from the heart of course.

2) Don’t be shy. Introduce yourself to someone that you’ve wanted to meet or get to know. Who knows, at worst they may not be all you’ve imagined them to be after all, and at best, it could be the start of something great.

3) Forgive. Let go of bitterness and hate, feel the freedom of forgiveness.

4) Go naked! Physically and emotionally! Expose yourself emotionally to those you trust and learn to love your own body. Don’t traumatize your kids though. I hated it when my mother walked around naked and when a roommate from school made it a habit to shed her clothes the minute she got in till the minute she left for classes.

5) Paint an abstract painting! Finger paint it if you dare (don't use oil paints then) and if you dare even more, combine it with #4.

6) Smile. Don’t be goofy or smile without sincerity. Smile from the heart. I love to thank cashiers and baggers at the grocery store then look at them deep in their eyes and give them a warm smile.

7) Write your memoirs, book or screenplay! Write it for yourself and not because you think you can get it published or bought by a studio.

8) When you shake someone’s hand, be sincere. Just as in # 6, look that person in the eye, feel the warmth of their clasped hand in yours and get in touch with that special human connection.

9) Don’t be afraid. Of ANYTHING!

10) Give yourself a physical challenge. Choose the mountain you’ll climb, the marathon you’ll run, or the certificate you’ll earn in a sport. Make it something that requires discipline and effort. Your body and mind will thank you!

11) Dance! Dance with your spouse, significant other, children and by yourself! Dance with everyone and anyone. Feel the rhythms in life and music and move with them in joy!